Please just use the protocol code…

I dislike when companies refer to their studies with acronyms they’ve created. I beg you, please just use the protocol code when referring to the study. Every email subject line should be the sponsor’s name followed by the protocol code. Did you know that when sponsors use those cutesy names, sites redo the acronyms to come up with their own hidden meanings?

I opened my email today and began with the FIRST study. The False Instructions Received, Simply Terrible study. While reading endless correspondence, I was paged to see a study participant for the NEXT study (confusiNg complicatEd eXaminaTions). Completing the visit in record time, I bumped into my CRA for the PAINFUL (Positively Awful IrritatiNg Farcical qUeries acknowLedged) study. They were also at the clinic to monitor the ENDLESS (thE Never-enDing triaL Everyone Simply detestS) study and needed some study records. While digging out the files, our transcriptionist needed my help with some FUTILE (Frustrating, Useless Tech Induced protocoL Errors) queries and then I drew blood for the VAMPIRE (Viable, Actually Manageable Protocol. It’s Really simplE) study. Finally able to get back to my charting for the STUPID (Simply Terrible & Utterly PathetIc & Dumb) study, I got a call from my WONDERFUL (Willing tO coNDuct EveRy FutUre protocoL) sponsor. Exhausted, I finally ended my day shipping labs for the TEQUILA (This projEct reQUIres Lots of Alcohol) study.